Unscripted Insights: Embracing Vulnerability and Curiosity

In the third week of my acting class, we were joined by Kru Rom, the instructor who inspired me to enroll. Kru Rom’s focus on psychophysical acting has deeply influenced me, and I’m dedicating this series of blog posts to the discoveries and growth I’ve experienced under her guidance.

Previously, I had taken Kru Rom’s Lucid Body class, so I was excited to dive into some familiar physical warm-ups. These included yoga poses, mindfulness exercises, and techniques like audible exhales, all designed to expand our range of emotional and physical expression. This transition helps us shed the personas we’ve carried from outside the class, preparing us for the expressive work of acting.

Our session moved on to an exercise in sensory engagement, focusing on the recollection of pain. We expressed varying intensities of pain — five levels, from mild soreness to the unbearable pain of imagined severe injuries. This exercise ventured beyond physical pain, touching on emotional losses as well. At level five, I found myself trying to scream without a voice, a moment of vulnerability and deep trust in my imaginative powers. This reminded me of how Olympian athletes use ‘mental imagery’ and ‘peripheral tapping’ to enhance mind-body connections. Experiencing this myself, I see the potential of such techniques as powerful tools in acting.

We also explored the concept of energy levels, based on Lecoq’s seven levels of tension. These levels describe a character’s state from exhaustion to peak alertness. Although I naturally inhabit the higher energy states (levels 4–5), it’s surprisingly a challenge for me to portray characters with lower energy (levels 2–3). This exercise is akin to navigating the arousal axis in psychology, helping us actors regulate our performance to enhance drama and believability.

Our emotional journey continued with an exploration of anger, facilitated through a discussion of the film Mean Girls. This iconic movie illustrates the emotional tumult of high school cliques and the high cost of popularity — covering joy, love, betrayal, anger, and shame. We also shared personal anecdotes about anger, like my own childhood conflicts, and examined how unresolved anger can lead to retributive behaviors. In Thai culture, where anger is often stifled, approaching it with curiosity can uncover underlying vulnerabilities such as sadness and fear. It is only by probing the roots of anger that we begin to truly understand and connect deeply with our characters and ourselves, both on and off screen.

The class was further enriched by a guest speaker from the casting industry who illuminated the casting process and the prevalent issue of typecasting. We introduced ourselves and discussed our potential archetypes, which was enlightening yet slightly disheartening given the industry’s reliance on stereotypes. Before class, I had a conversation with Kru Rom about feeling constrained by the limited archetypes in Thai media. Despite these frustrations, I remain hopeful that I can one day challenge these norms through my creative expression.

In a practical application of our lessons, I partnered with a classmate, Boat, to perform a scene from a secretive gay romance caught in a love triangle. Initially focused on memorizing the script, I eventually embraced imperfection, allowing me to truly connect with my scene partner. Even though I felt somewhat tense on improvisation, my partner thanked me for helping him get into character with my acting. For the first time, I gained a deeper understanding of my character’s internal conflict — outwardly expressing anger while inwardly craving love and acceptance, complicated by the dynamics of a love triangle.

Reflecting on these past weeks, I am amazed by how pain and pleasure are fundamental drivers of human behavior. Beneath the surface of anger often lies a vulnerable heart, brimming with fears, sadness, and a longing for connection. As actors, we delve into these emotions with curiosity, seeking to fully comprehend the complexities of our characters. This journey has not only enhanced my acting skills but also deepen my self-awareness and empathy. I’m grateful for the opportunity to explore acting in such a transformative way, experiencing firsthand the power of vulnerability and curiosity.